Fire Department Takes New Approach Towards EMS

The Apple Bottom Fire Department is taking a bold new step to get into the ambulance business: Not involving ambulances at all. Fire Chief Scott Bigelow has said that starting April 1, their department will take over the ambulance transport in their town (with a population of 10,000) utilizing their 2005 Pierce fire engine to transport patients to the hospital.

fire engine

Fire Engine like this to be used as ambulance

Recently, Apple Bottom has been reevaluating their fire staffing and considering laying off three full-time firefighters. In search of ways to find more revenue streams for the town to keep their staff employed, many supporters of the department felt that getting into the ambulance transport business was a safe bet.

When reached for comment, Chief Bigelow said, “I read a lot of industry magazines, and I have seen a lot of articles lately about Washington DC’s fire department transporting sick people in the back of the fire engine. I could not help but think, ‘If it is good enough for the nation’s capital, it should be good enough for the people of Apple Bottom.’” The unorthodox approach is the first of its kind, but Chief Bigelow feels it will put them on the map. “People are going to talk about it, and people are going to write about me and this great idea that I have.”

The Chief revealed his detailed plan showing how patients will be transported. He even pointed out that their fire engine is capable of seating six people so on busier days they can handle multiple calls at once. The hose bed is even suitable if they have to secure a patient on a spine board. He noted,“We will do our best to give the citizens of Apple Bottom the best service that their insurance will pay for.”

The department currently employs sixteen paid fire fighters who all work 24 hour shifts. “Our guys are already certified first responders,” he said. “So getting them their paramedic certifications should only take a couple of months, right?”

Captain Wade Osborne of DC Fire and EMS was contacted for comment. “We stand by our system design, and we feel that more fire engines work. Transporting patients in those engines might not be what we always prefer to do but it is nice to see that we are inspiring departments around the country to try new things. This is a fine day for our department as we believe imitation is the greatest form of flattery.”

Spalding Ambulance, a private for-profit company, currently provides two ambulances to cover the town. Reporters tried to make contact with one of the crews, but the pair appeared to be “taking a break” in the back of their truck. The second ambulance could not be located.

Attempts were made to reach the owner of the Spalding Ambulance Service. Unfortunately, however, their last listed owner David Spalding has once again declined to speak to the press and released a statement saying, “We at Spalding Ambulance are committed to serving the people of Apple Bottom no matter what the circumstances.” The statement, sent by US mail, was originally dated October 25, 1996. This was crossed out and replaced with last Friday’s date.

The City Council seemed to fully support the Chief’s plan to take over EMS for the town. His presentation even included a picture his 75 year old mother and former kindergarten teacher sitting in the jump seat of the ambulance giving a thumbs up. The caption read, “If it’s good enough for my mom, it’s good enough for anyone!”

Chief Bigelow is confident, however, that he can do a better job than Spalding Ambulance. “How hard can it be?” The chief said in parting, “It’s just EMS.”

About Guest Contributor

From time to time we allow Guests to contribute a one time article or submit something as an audition for being a regular staff writer.